Showing posts with label pregnancy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label pregnancy. Show all posts

Friday, April 10, 2015

Pregnant Again!

I've mentioned it in a couple of my reviews lately, but I feel the need to write a special post letting my readers know that I am pregnant again. This is going to be baby number three. We actually have an interesting thing happening with this baby. We have something called a vanishing twin. That means that we were going to have twins, but one didn't grow. We have one baby growing exactly like it should and a yolk sac that still shows up in the ultrasounds. I'm eleven weeks along now so it is highly unlikely that it will suddenly start growing, but as my doctor said, "Stranger things have happened." We will be having ultrasounds done fairly regularly to keep an eye on the vanishing twin to see if it will actually vanish and to make sure that I don't miscarry the other baby which can happen.

It's been a rough couple of weeks from the crazy morning sickness and worry. I'm considered "at risk" which just adds a little stress by itself. Hopefully everything will turn out ok. I'm due on Halloween which will make this year's trick-or-treating very interesting.

The number one reason I am writing all this is to say that my poor blog is probably going to get neglected. I struggle to make the time for it now with two kids and I'm afraid that adding a third is going to pretty much negate all free time. We will see though. Currently, I am going to slow down all product reviews and I haven't been doing much in terms of book reviews. I am going to fulfill all my current obligations, but you won't see quite as much from me seeing as I have been exhausted every day of this pregnancy so far. I hope you'll continue to follow my blog during this slow down and hopefully I will be able to pick things up again later on. Thanks!

Thursday, February 21, 2013

Personal update: Trying to grow the Family

Drake Seabolt

Many of my Facebook followers know that I am trying to get pregnant. Well since my ConceiveEasy review get the most traffic on my blog, and you have been keeping up with how things have been going with me through the comments section there, I figured I would give a more formal update. The picture above is of my son Drake (taken April 2010). I love that picture so much. He just looks so perfect. Anyways...back to task here. Let's start with some history.


I have had two ectopic pregnancies since my son was born. One was in March 2011 and the second was in August 2011. The first pregnancy was a big shock to us. We weren't ready at all for another baby. My son was really horrible early on with his acid reflux. We slept very very little for the first six months. We were shocked by the pregnancy, but I knew right away that something was wrong. Call it instinct, but I called the doctor immediately after taking the test and told that that I felt like something was wrong. Two weeks later I had to have a shot of chemo to kill the cells because the egg was stuck in my Fallopian tube which meant it would eventually die and possible kill me as well. While it was very upsetting, it was a blessing that I realized there was a problem before it was too late.

The second ectopic was a little less of a shock, but once again I was very concerned at the start of the pregnancy. I was bleeding all the time which I did with the first ectopic and did not do with my son. There were other things that just felt off to me, but my blood tests indicated that it was possible that I conceived later than I thought I did. The baby was growing just based on the dates I gave the doctor it was two weeks younger than it should have been. After a month of bi-weekly tests, the doctor ordered an ultrasound. We were starting to get excited by this point and were even picking out names. Sadly, they could not find the egg in the ultrasound. It turns out that sometimes the eggs don't stick in the tubes. They can get stuck in the ovary or even travel out of the uterus to get stuck in random locations in the body. We *think* mine was so close to the ovary that we couldn't tell it was there. This pregnancy was devastating. I was literally heartbroken because I had convinced myself that it was my baby girl. It took me nearly six months to recover. I buried myself in books which also ended up turning my blog into what it is today.

Everything happens in our lives for a reason. I firmly believe that. I believe in God and yes he is supposed to only give us as much as we can handle, but I do sometimes question his logic. I love where I am at in my life now. I love reading and reviewing books. I love interviewing authors. I love that I have been inspired enough to start my own book series. Lately though I find myself questioning why I had to lose two babies and cannot seem to get pregnant again. This is called Secondary Infertility. I carried my son with very little complications, but now cannot get pregnant or carry a pregnancy to term. I was really hopeful this month, but I am still not pregnant unless what I am experiencing today is implantation bleeding. Doubtful. I will let you know if that diagnosis changes.

Is there anyone else out there that has gone through a similar experience to me? What did you do to have another child? Any tips/tricks are very welcome. I am sure that many of my readers would be happy to get the information. Every woman that wants to be a mom deserves the opportunity to make it happen. So let me know!

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Now What?

I have been an emotional wreck lately and since no one really reads my blog much anyway, I am going to write about it. It has been going on for a little over a month. On March 4th, I found out I was pregnant again, but me being as in tune with my body as I am, I knew there was something wrong. I was bleeding which I didn't do with Drake. So I called the doctor. Of course they gave me the speech about how that if I felt major make-yourself-crumple-up-want-to-die pain, I needed to go to the hospital. Until that happened, I was to come into the office and have some tests done. On March 7th, the doctor said my beta level showed that I should have been approximately 4-5 weeks along and they needed to draw more blood for a comparison since my system had been so screwed up since having Drake. They drew blood and said that there were three possible outcomes.

1) Beta level goes up - It's a normal pregnancy and get ready to have a 14 months old and newborn at the same time.
2) Beta stays the same - probably an ectopic pregnancy and we would have to "abort" it
3) Beta goes down - My body is already trying to miscarry the baby and there is nothing to be done except wait to see if my body handles it the way it should.

That night I got the phone call that said that my beta had drop from 742 to 657. So my body was preparing to have a miscarriage whether I wanted it to or not. I had to keep going in for more blood tests in order to make sure that my beta drops all the way to 0 and that I would not need a D&C. So on March 8th, I had more blood drawn and scheduled a visit to the doctor on March 10th. On the 10th I had an internal ultrasound done and they couldn't find the baby. It was extremely painful let me tell you. They drew more blood that day too. That night the doctor called me to say that since they couldn't find the baby in my uterus, it must be ectopic and he was pretty sure it was stuck in my fallopian tube. I had to go in on Friday March 11th for more blood and another exam. When I got there, the doctor had the news I didn't want to hear. My beta jumped up to over 800. This meant that my body was not miscarrying it the way it should. Talk about an emotional roller coaster. One minute I am just sitting around waiting for the oh-my-god-I-want-to-die pain that meant run to the ER and the next I am told, "You have to go to the hospital to get a shot of chemo to remove the egg." This goes against what I believe it. I felt like I was being told I had to have an abortion, but the truth is that the baby was basically dead already anyway. There is no place for the placenta to grow, so it could not survive where it was. Also, if it did manage to get any bigger, my tube could rupture with the worst side effect being death. Not an option obviously. That day I got the shot.

On March 15th my body officially got rid of the baby. The pain I expected finally happened, but this time it was from the shot. I was under instructions that I didn't need to go to the ER unless I was in so much pain that I was incapacitated. I wasn't that day, but it was pretty bad. Since then, I had more blood drawn on the 15th, 17th, and 24th and have another one scheduled for April 1st. My beta have all continued to drop since the 15th, but I tell you what...The hormones are driving me insane! One minute I am as happy as can be and the next I am running into another room to cry my eyes out. The last couple of days I have even had sudden urges to throw stuff across the room. I never have been so emotionally insane as I am now. Even right after Drake was born I wasn't bad at all. This whole your 4 weeks pregnant and then at 6 weeks you're not is killing me.

So now what? I am writing this in hopes that writing down all my feelings will help me feel a little better. I had to tell my family about the baby because I knew that would drive me crazy keeping it from them, but I feel like I'm going crazy anyway. It was a temporary fix that was destroyed by my body's own war with itself. Can I have a new body? This one is abusing me. The only up side to all of this is that I am not really that hungry lately. I have actually lost like 6 pounds in the last 6 weeks. One good thing. Where's the rest?